The Time Lord Domestic
by irisheyes77
Summary: How the 10.5 is dealing with life on the slow path.
1. Laundry

"Look," Rose said as she took clothes out of the washer and loaded them into the dryer, "I don't care that the sonic will clean your clothes, you need to use the washer and dryer."

The Doctor looked decidedly put out. "I don't understand why. The sonic gets them just as clean, and I save water. Saving the planet, Rose! Environmentally friendly and all that!"

Turning the machine on, she turned to him. "Are you afraid of the washing machine, Doctor?"

"No!" His answer was entirely too fast. "Me, afraid of a household appliance? I'm insulted."

She knew she'd hit the nail on the head. "Then tell me why you haven't used it. Tell me why instead of using this perfectly good washer that my parents bought us, you insist on using the sonic." She knew all too well why he refused to use the washer; last time he had, he'd shrunk her favorite sweater, bleached her favorite jeans, and turned all of his pants pink. After she got over her initial anger, she'd had a good laugh at his expense, and he'd finally just gone out and bought more pants to keep her from laughing.

"I told you, environmentally friendly."

"Or you have a mortal fear of wearing pink pants." Rose couldn't help but laugh.

"Oi! It was an accident! You didn't tell me I couldn't wash all the clothes together!"

"Big Time Lord brain and you couldn't figure that out?"

"Time Lords didn't do laundry."

Clearly upset, he started to walk out of the laundry room to go have a good sulk when Rose stopped him, grabbing his hand. "Hey, look at me."

The Doctor turned to look at her, and a pang of guilt shot through her when she saw just how badly she'd wounded him. "I'm rubbish at this, Rose. Big, huge, Time Lord brain and I can't even do my own laundry."

"You're not rubbish," she replied, putting her arms around his neck and leaning in to gently rub her nose against his. "You're not. It's just gonna take some time." Giving him a coy smile, she began to play with the hair at the nape of his neck as she pressed herself into him. "Besides, there's one very human thing that you are very, very good at."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow as he slid his hands down to her bum. "And what would that be?"

They never told anyone how they ended up with a huge hole in the wall behind the washer, or how the washer got that rather large scrape and the dents. And the Doctor never complained about laundry again. In fact, it soon became his favorite chore.


	2. Grocery Shopping

"I don't understand why we can't have the groceries delivered," the Doctor complained as they wheeled the buggy around the Tesco. "It's so much easier."

Rose gave him a look. "First of all, having to get groceries is not the worst thing in the world, so stop making it out to be." She began putting apples into a plastic bag. "Second, I like to choose the produce myself." She dropped the bag into the buggy and moved on to the oranges. "And third, sometimes they have to substitute things. How would you feel if they substituted your bananas with, say, pears?"

The horrified look on the Doctor's face was enough to make her burst out laughing.

"And that is why we go out and get groceries rather than have them delivered."

Muttering under his breath, he dropped a large bunch of bananas in the buggy, and they continued on.

It was a game they played every time they went to the store: the Doctor whinged, and she ignored him. She pretended not to notice when he snuck packages of Jelly Babies and Jammie Dodgers and assorted crisps and sugary cereals into the cart, and he pretended he didn't see it when she (occasionally) took them out.

Lettuce, tomatoes, broccoli, all into the cart. Rose was reaching for a bunch of asparagus when the Doctor stopped her. "No."

"What've you got against asparagus?"

"Nothing really, but it…" he looked around furtively, then leaned in closely to whisper to her. "The human metabolism processes asparagus in such a way that it gives off a distinct aroma."

"This is a secret? I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge that it makes your pee smell. "

The Doctor flushed slightly. "It also changes certain…_flavors_." He cocked an eyebrow.

It took Rose a minute, but when she finally caught his meaning, she flushed. "Oh. No asparagus then."

"No indeed."

They moved on.

Milk, bread, cheese and butter, orange juice and eggs, all into the buggy. After a minor domestic in the jam aisle (she was not about to buy six jars of jam and two of marmalade) and a near-miss accident involving jars of pasta sauce, they were almost done.

The last few aisles were personal care items, and the Doctor grumbled about the rubbish human endocrine system as he chucked deodorant into the cart. He tried to look nonchalant when she tossed in a box of tampons, but when she picked up a box of condoms he stopped her.

"Rose…there are_ children_ here."

"Okay." She looked at him, confused. "And?"

"And over there is nice Mrs. Parker from down the street who calls me 'Dearie' and likes to knit me jumpers, and Gladys who works the checkout who sees us every week, and I believe I saw Pete's secretary back in the crisps aisle and they don't need to see us with…_those_ in our cart."

She wanted so, so desperately to laugh; it was causing her actual physical discomfort to not laugh. She bit the inside of her cheek and managed to choke out, "Doctor, I think all of them are aware that we are, in fact, shagging. Regularly."

"Keep your voice down!" he hissed, and finally Rose couldn't contain her laughter. She doubled over, tears of mirth forming in her eyes. "What is so funny?"

"You! You're…a prude!" He pouted, and she laughed harder. "You think anyone cares that we're buying condoms at the Tesco? Where do you think I've been getting them?"

The Doctor gave her a look. "I'm not a prude."

He looked genuinely upset, and she felt a pang of guilt. Rose managed to tamp down her amusement and look remorseful. "I'm sorry. I just think it's funny that you-who has no concept whatsoever about personal boundaries-is embarrassed to be buying condoms at the Tesco." She grabbed his tie and pulled him down to her for a kiss. "I'm reasonably sure that anyone who has met us knows we're shagging like teenagers." She kissed him again. "And we don't have any at home, which means that if we don't get them here, you won't get to see my knickers and trust me, you want to see my knickers."

Forgetting where they were, he grabbed her and kissed her again. "Want to see you out of your knickers."

"Then put the condoms in the buggy."

He tossed four boxes into the cart, but he never looked Gladys who worked the checkout in the eye again.


End file.
